Week 47 - Bryan's Birthday (and Before)

So, this is a bit of a cheater week! There will be pictures, and there will be a post, and it will document a huge part of our life, but the pictures will be stolen from my sister in law and they will be of Bryan's birth. 

All of you that read this blog have probably already heard the story of Bryan's birth, but writing it down is something I wanted to do. To make it more of a birth story even though the whole time has been etched into my memory, all 38 hours!! So, here we go!!!

People always say that your birth is never how you expect it to be, it's totally true!! Avery's birth was the opposite of what I wanted; HELLP Syndrome leading to a C-section. Although, it ended up with the most perfect little girl, so I can't really complain. For Bryan's birth, all I wanted was to have a natural vaginal birth!  I was ok with it being just vaginal because that's what I REALLY wanted and was willing to give up the "natural" part if that's where my birth led me. With him being over a week late, I was starting to get the feeling that there was going to be some interventions. Again, I was totally fine with that idea, as long as he was ok. However, I'm not going to lie, I had a great fear of pitocin, so avoiding that would have been great.
We went in for my appointment to take what is called a Stress Test. Apparently, they want you to take it after you are a week past your due date to make sure everything is ok and my placenta is going to last as long as Bryan wanted to stay in there (Placentas apparently expire, who knew haha.) So, we went to do the test and there was enough fluid around the baby but they weren't thrilled with his heartbeat. It was super constant.. which in my eyes is great, but they want it to fluctuate a bit which his wasn't. Our midwife decided that she wanted to keep us there and work toward induction, telling us that she would be so worried if she sent us home. Fine by me!! Don't want a worried midwife. We were admitted and my midwife walked in and asked what kind of pain management I wanted and once I replied "Hugs and Kisses" we started talking to her about induction methods. I wanted it to be as natural as possible... meaning I didn't want her blasting me with pitocin so I wasn't able to deal with the contractions. I had been having nightly contractions for three days leading up to this but I was sure they were nothing like the pitocin ones!! So we started with a ball catheter... which is exactly how it sounds. They inserted these tiny balloons, inflated them with saline and waited for it to mechanically dilate me.
About 10 hours later (putting us at around 7 am on Friday, October 16th), I was dilated 5 cm and the ball catheter came out, it had done it's job, and I sat amazing that that thing was actually up there haha! At this point, they wanted to wait and see if my body kicked in and started laboring on my own. When it started to actually slow down, that's when they decided to start the Pitocin real slow. So we started Pitocin, slowly but surely. I learned that there are Pitocin levels. I looked at my nurse at one point and asked her how she knew when to check and when it was go time. She told me that there was an obvious change in the mom's face and they immediately stopped joking. I remember thinking to myself that I wasn't going to stop joking :)! Although, it was at level 1 of Pitocin that I made that promise. The contractions with the ball catheter were really uncomfortable and had lots of pressure, but these new contractions were different. I asked my nurse how many levels there were ( I was at level three at this point) and she told me there were TWENTY levels. I almost pissed my pants.

Those pitocin contractions were no joke although, I am quite happy that my midwife/nurses increased the level very slowly. I feel like I was able to get used to the pain as the pain increased slowly. I had my mom and Buddy in the room at that point (thank god) They had been there since I had the ball catheter put in. I knew I wanted my mom in the room to help because with my desire to have a natural birth, I knew she had been there (she had a 36 hour birth with pitocin exactly like mine with my brother and then a quick natural birth with me) and so I knew the things she told me, she KNEW!!! Plus, just like any kid, I like having my mom there when things suck :)!! 

After a whole day of laboring and feeling my contractions getting harder and harder, I was just SURE that I was progressing!! Hoping we would have Bryan on 10/16/15 where he would share a birthday with my cousin Lisa and land in line with the cool people of the family (Avery's bday is on the 14th, mine is on the 15th and then his would have been on the 16th.) I had decided at this point that I would call in my doula, thinking that she could give my mom and Buddy a break so they were primed and ready to go when I was ready to push! I had been in and out of the shower by then, standing there with the hot water beating on me. Every time I had a contraction, Buddy would move the head of the shower around on my back. That shower was freaking CLUTCH!!! After my last shower, my doula showed up and asked me if I wanted her to braid my hair. I was trying to do it myself when she showed up, speed braiding in between contractions haha she did a MUCH better job!! Following the showers and such, I was checked and told that I was at an 8. I was kind of hoping I would be further along but still ok with the bit of progression. We were now moving into hour 24 of labor and I was told that I still wasn't experiencing the transition labor contractions. I jumped into a bath after I was checked this time. I was told that it could help ease the pain as well as move the process forward. 

It was later in the night by the time my midwife decided to check me. Again, I was sure that I was dilating so far, she checked me and I was still at 8 cm . It took all of my self control to not cry. I realized that I wasn't the only one. My whole support group was equally as bummed. It felt like we had been working so hard for so long and I hadn't progressed at all. My midwife tried to make me feel better by telling me that he had dropped more and was getting in position but all I heard was the 8 cm. This meant Bryan was most likely going to be born the next day. Then, not only was I told I hadn't really progressed, but my midwife told me that I needed to make sure I wasn't "pushing" through my contractions because it was stalling my labor and making my cervix swell... essentially making me go backwards. I was so deflated!! It was at this time that she decided that they would insert a monitor to be able to monitor how the contractions were working. I just wanted to make sure that I could move around with the monitor in other than that, I didn't care because it just meant they would make sure the contractions were being productive. I jumped into the bath again, couldn't hurt to relieve some pain and that's when I noticed that my pitocin level was at a 13. For some reason, I felt so betrayed because they were secretly bumping my level up on me haha! I wanted to call them out but realized I didn't want to waste the energy, I was too busy trying to get through a contraction "correctly." 

I focused each contraction on breathing through them, so my energy was placed there instead of tightening and pushing on my cervix. My midwife was secretly in and out of the room keeping an eye on me, watching me as my contractions started really "working," not just simply looking at the monitor. We were all so exhausted at this point. I remember my mom saying "try to take a nap in between contractions," so I started taking 30 second naps in between each contraction. I would wake up to the pain, tap her on the shoulder waking her up, and she would help me through the contraction. 

I got up at one point and took my 800th trip to the bathroom and realized that I just couldn't handle not pushing anymore. The need to push was just too overwhelming. So I nicely told my midwife that and apparently my face and that desire made her want to check me. I was at a very large 9 cm and she told me that she could just push the last bit of the cervix up over Bryan's head. This was just three hours after inserting the monitor! Later, after everything was said and done, Buddy told me that they had pulled him aside and told him that if the monitor didn't help us bring on some productive contractions and get things moving in the next three hours that we would have to start talking about different options. Thank goodness everything worked in those three hours and we were able to start getting ready to push! My mom kept saying "Just get to the point of getting to push and you will be golden." I was so ready to be there and it's like there was a new and exciting energy in the room that woke us all up.

That urge to push was pretty amazing and pretty powerful. The nurses got everything ready to go as I worked through a few more contractions and I asked Jessica (the midwife) if she was going to be the one to deliver my baby. At this point, it was 6 am on Bryan's birthday and I knew shift change was at 7. She told me that she wasn't sure but would stick around as long as she could. After that, she had me do a "quick push" through one of my contractions... which resulted in her saying that she would for sure be sticking around for my birth. It's amazing how the contractions seemed to slow at this point. I was ready to push and everyone was there to help me through it so it felt like people were just sitting there watching me in between contractions. By the time Jessica got back from gathering her "tools" Bryan's little noggin was showing. Jessica sat down at the end of my bed ready to get going and pull him out. I pushed another time and all I hear her say is "slow down" then a more urgent "Stop pushing" which is easier said than done, then a super loud "STOP STOP STOP" on the push that was so out of my control that I can't really say it was me pushing and POP there he was, the coolest and most rewarding feeling in my LIFE!!!!! I apologized a ton to Jessica for not following her instructions and slowing down haha but then was just so happy that my tiny boy was here and 6:48am on 10/17/2016 a mere 36 hours later!!! All well worth the wait and work!!

"Sarah, do you want to hold one of her legs?"
"Nope, I'm good right here!"

The man started crying during my FIRST push :) I think it was a "THANK GOD" cry!

"Can you believe how much hair he has?!"

Proud Gramma calling the proud Grampa

All that followed was the whirlwind of him meeting everyone. After I was stitched up and Bryan was measured and bathed, it was time for him to meet his big sister. Avery had been with her Aunty Brecca for the past couple of days playing and having the best time ever, so Brec brought her in to meet Bryan. When she got there, she immediately got her presents that her new little brother brought her and met the cool kid who she automatically fell in love with.

She was so happy to meet him!! She leaned right in and gave him a kiss, new toys in hand. Who wouldn't love someone that just got them Rex and Lightning McQueen???

My favorite guys in one picture!!!

Just a Gramma and her Grand kids 

Even though, again, it didn't go exactly how I wanted it to, I had the most beautiful little boy via VBAC!! Both make the 38 hours and uncountable amount of contractions totally worth it and I would do it all again... not sure Buddy and my mom would though :) I am head over heels and completely in love with this tiny boy, Bryan Dean Ferreira